Party at Justin's!

Last Saturday Southie seemed like the place to be! It was loud, tons of people walking around in the crisp fall air.

However, me and my fiance were exhausted. He had to work, and I was up at the crack of dawn to go dress shopping. So, after a fun-filled day of those 2 activities we proceeded to go pick out pumpkins and hit the mall to get some Christmas shopping out of the way. (Side note: NEVER go to SSP on a Saturday evening again). As we are driving away from the mall we decide to order Alfredo's on the way home and pick it up when we get to Southie. Great idea!

We order, we get home, I go to pick up the order, my fiance parks the car and is going to get all our stuff inside the house, and walk the dogs. I think I win because I only have to walk across the street and pay for the order.

As I'm in Alfredo's waiting for my order, this takes place:

A group of 5 twenty-somethings walk into Alfredo's and are way too buzzed for it to only be a little past 7:00PM. But they are dressed very appropriate for Fall in boots and flannels. Hashtag BASIC. Haha, kidding.

Alfredo's employee: I told you guys 20 minutes!
Guy 1: Did I not say we'd be here in 10?!
Alfredo's employee: Ahh... you did...

Blond Girl: We got buff chick right?! Buff chick is the best.
Brunette Girl: And half and half (something I couldn't decipher).

Now, 2 more friends walk in, one is carrying a 30-rack. He asks if he can set it on the shelf I'm standing near. Of course I let him. He seems sober. Good plan to leave the sober one in charge of beers, very good!

So now I'm close to the beers. Brunette Girl comes charging over and hangs on the beers to let everyone else in the shop (i.e. me) know that those beers are theirs and not to be touched. Oh the overprotective-ness of ones beers when drunk.

They're all rambling about more buff chick pizza, when finally my order is called.

Alfredo's employee: Large steak and cheese calzone, extra cheese?!
Me: Over here!... Thanks!

Guy 1: (as I'm walking by and leaving) I'm so jealous! Great idea.
Me: I know. *smirk*

Now, you would think my encounter with the drunks are over for it being so early in the evening, but there was one more.

As I'm crossing the street 2 guys let me know something very important: Party at Justin's place!!

Awesome, I'll be there! Except I'm 28, tired as fuck, and I have no clue who Justin is. But alas, I bet he had one hell of a party. I'm sure the buff chick pizza did not go to waste.

Question: are people that order buff chick pizza also people that order 'snick' coffees when referring to snickerdoodle coffees? I'm going to have to keep my ears open!

My Bad

This is shameful for me to admit, but it's true. A few days ago I was that loud talker/person delivering a little TMI whilst on the phone walking home from the T stop.

I'm walking briskly along by D'Angelo's. Now, I walk seriously fast for a 5 foot nothing girl and I'm on the phone with my fiance because I'm late coming home from work because some dingbat didn't follow protocol. So I'm just bitching and I get really heated about this dingbat so I loudly say:

"They're just so fucking slow!"

I was referring to the department the dingbat is in, but the 3 people in front of me as I approached the crosswalk of Dot. St. and Old Colony clearly thought I was talking about them. All 3 whipped around expecting to see some cunty bitch, homeless person, or crack head yelling about the people around them. Thankfully they could see I was paying no attention to them and was talking on the phone. That was embarrassing. My bad.

That Fireball Whiskey Whispers Temptations in my Ear

This morning while walking to Andrew Station I'm walking behind a guy in his mid-twenties wearing jeans, a flannel, and Irish Setter boots. I'm going to safely say we were both on our way to work. As we walk along his phone rings and this is what he says:

"Yea, he drank a bottle of Fireball before the first pitch so he's probably dead."

That was the entirety of the conversation. The guy is right, his poor friend and co-worker is probably dead, but he had one hell of a hump day evening!

Adult Decisions

This doesn't take place in Southie, but in Downtown Crossing. It's humorous to me nonetheless.

During my lunch break at work I'm walking around Downtown Crossing behind a couple of girls with Suffolk 2014 Freshmen t-shirts. First of all, whatever happened to Class of ####? Has everyone succumbed to the 5-year plan being the norm for most people these days? We've really been lowering the bar. When I was entering my college career a mere 10 years ago my parents told me you do this in 4 years and we pay for it, you do it in more and you start paying. But I digress...

These girls' conversation was much that of any hopeful, fun-loving freshmen would talk about: their new found freedom. Now, what they decided to do with it will just blow your mind.

Girl 1: So what is it you want to do?
Girl 2: My first decision as a college adult is something my parents never let me do.

Now, I'm thinking in my head; cigarettes, scratch tickets, you know, any of those degenerate things that will really get you on the 5+ year plan.

Girl 2: Finally get my ears pierced!

Woah, honey! Slow your roll... You ears pierced, FINALLY?! From one white girl to the next, you mean to let me overhear that your parents didn't do this either shortly after your birth or at some point before your thirteenth birthday?

To you Girl 2, I say good luck. Next think you know you will be wearing club dresses, using a fake ID to get into Faneuil Hall bars to dance and drink booze, going to house parties to play beer pong and flip cup, taking molly at raves, and eating street meat or fast food in the wee hours of the morning. Inevitably, you will eat all of this up and your school work will start to suffer. Then mommy and daddy will rethink letting you go to school in SUCH a big city and try to reel you in. By now it is too late, you know about all the enjoyable vices in the world now and nothing can stop you.

Only if your parents let you get your ears pierced before now.

Sober Pregnancy

Yesterday evening as I was walking home from Andrew Station, I was walking behind a visibly pregnant woman on her phone. Her side of the conversation I heard is as follows:

Preggo: I was talking to my sponsor, yea, no I really want to be sober for this pregnancy.

Couple things wrong here: (1) sober for this one!? Why not the others? (2) She definitely had that slow talking, slurred voice that indicated to me she was in fact NOT clean. (3) Finally, she was ripping a butt while having this conversation.

I'm not one to judge all cigarette smoking, in fact I'm a frequent indulger, but I would definitely refrain while pregnant.

Keep it classy.

Watertown

As I'm walking my dog last night I overhear this conversation from inside a Telegraph Street residence:

Kid 1: I can't get to Watertown right now!
Kid 2: Dude, no one can get to Watertown. How would that even be possible?

I would like to note, neither one of these people were kids, or phonetically - kehds. They were 2 late-20s early-30s men in an apartment full of men drinking from red Solo cups on a Thursday evening. I might also add, they did not close their blinds or their front door. Ah the luxuries of being male.

But in case they were wondering Watertown is damn close to Boston. I hope they figured it out.